Exit Costs  

The losses associated with doubting,

questioning or changing one’s religious views.

Exit costs refer to the losses—real or anticipated—that can accompany doubting, questioning, or changing one’s religious beliefs. For many people, religious identity is deeply woven into family relationships, community belonging, moral frameworks, and practical life structures. Because of this, even small shifts in belief can carry significant emotional, social, and material consequences.

Understanding exit costs helps explain why leaving a religion—or even privately questioning it—can feel frightening, destabilizing, or impossible, even when a belief system has become harmful.

Religious change does not happen in a single moment, and it does not look the same for everyone. People may move slowly, quietly, or publicly through different stages of questioning and change. The type of change someone experiences often shapes the kinds of costs they encounter.

Types of Religious Change

Exit Costs

Exit costs are one of the primary mechanisms that keep people tied to religious systems long after doubts arise. When belonging, safety, or survival feel threatened, staying may appear less painful than leaving—even when remaining causes harm. Exit costs take on many forms including: relational, psychological, economic, existential, developmental, cultural, & safety.

  • RELATIONAL COSTS

    Exclusion from former religious community, friendships, and connections.

    Being labelled as bad or evil for leaving the region. Most religious groups have a shaming label for people who leave.

    Relational conflicts over differing views.

    Loneliness and feelings of isolation.

  • PSYCHOLOGICAL COSTS

    Identity collapse

    Loss of a meaning making system

    Shifts in relationship to self

    Emotions such as grief, anger, fear

    Mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety.

  • ECONOMIC COSTS

    Loss of career if connected to religious group

    Loss of childcare, financial support, community resources

    Loss of business relationships

    Education gaps if job training was religious

  • EXISTENTIAL COSTS

    Loss of defined purpose and identity

    Fears about death

    Loss of moral framework

  • DEVELOPMENTAL COSTS

    Relearning autonomy and self-direction that the group once dictated for you.

    Reclaiming of intuition and self trust

    Catching up on missed sexual development and creating a sexual ethic outside of prescribed religious rules.

  • CULTURAL COSTS

    Separation from familiar holidays and rituals

    Loss of language, symbols, and heritage to connected faith

    Disconnection from ethnic identity (for fused groups)

  • SAFETY COSTS

    Emotional abuse or coersion to return

    Domestic Violence risks

    Forced counseling, church discipline

    Surveillance